Monday, June 24, 2013




Hello everyone it's been awhile that I have not written but with children finishing exams and finishing their school my plate was a little over flowing. Thank God that summer has begun and I can relax and get down to the nitty gritty of blogging once again and getting everyone's opinions, stories and testimonies.

Today I want to go into the virtual world and start going into a subject that has hit many of us and even some young kids, cyberbullying.

CYBERBULLYING  can easily be defined as:

  • When the Internet, cell phones or other devices are used to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person.
  • Sending e-mail to someone who has said they want no further contact with the sender, but it may also include threats, sexual remarks, pejorative labels (i.e., hate speech), ganging up on victims by making them the subject of ridicule in forums, and posting false statements as fact aimed at humiliation
  • Gossip, instigation of others to gang up on target on forums, news groups and chats ( ex.facebook, group blogs..etc)
Although intentional or even sometimes unintentional cyberbullying can cause lots of harm. When items are posted on a blog or chat room it's hard to retract those views or opinions of that person, persons or individuals involved.

The website states:


  • The two most common types of cyberbullying is the bullying contacting his victim directly (direct attacks) and the bully using a accomplice to torment his victim. The latter is referred to as "cyberbullying by proxy". The accomplice may or may not know he is being used as a pawn by the bully. However, if an adult knows or is involved in the tormenting it would not be considered cyberbullying; this would be defined as "cyberstalking" or "cyberharassment". 


  • Cyberbully victims will often suffer in silence for fear of being tormented even more than what they currently are. Also, a victim may keep the bullying from a parent of guardian because she may be scared she will lose her internet privileges--or the right to use her other electronic communication devices. In some cases, victims of cyberbullying are not even aware they are being bullied. 
Cyberspace has been used as a weapon to hurt, harm and otherwise deface many in the internet. And yes, even though we do have free speech their should always be a form of decorum of how you should present yourself while you are online. Think, would you necessarily say that about that person or persons if they were if front of you and how far are you willing to go to make an example of them and damage them for the rest of  THEIR LIVES?! Remember print last forever and the internet lasts longer than that.

States and government officials have started doing everything to put restrictions on cyberbullying and cease the senseless acts of cyberbullying. And again although we have freedoms we want to ensure that those freedoms don't spoil innocent blood, like Amanda Todd and countless others. 

Currently the states that have cyberbullying laws are Arkansas, Idaho, Iowa, New Jersey, Oregon, Louisiana, Missouri, New York, Vermont, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts. There are no federal laws as of yet but in the future there maybe a possibility that cyberbullying will or could become a federal law.

All states have laws against harassment, including all schools have codes for harrasment whether suspensions or expulsions. Many schools have joined forces in many counties in different states to build a strong NO CYBERBULLYING programs for their students. And even though they do, many students still stay silent. That's where a strong communication within your family unit comes into play. 

Make sure that you talk about all issues no matter how big or small within your family. Let your children feel comfortable in telling you anything even if they feel responsible. Build a line of trust and do not waver from it even if you feel that what they might be doing is not in their best interest and be sensitive in giving your opinion. Place boundaries for your kids in the long run; kids would rather you show love by restrictions than not pay attention to them at all. REMEMBER DON'T BE YOUR CHILD'S BEST FRIEND, BE A PARENT!

Yes, facts about cyberbullying have been found in the Bible. The word of God comments on cyberbullying and those who obsess over running " smear campaigns", constructed to defame the names of the innocent. The Bible addresses harassers who inflict abuse on good citizens they've never met. Those who find their pleasures in hurting others are wholeheartedly disliked, and rebuked by God. No one likes cyberbullying and harassing. In fact, God has a special disdain for abusive folk. Facts about cyberbullying glare forth from the pages of scripture.

Most Important Biblical Fact about Cyberbullying: Psalm 36:1

Psalm 36:1 "The transgression of the wicked sayeth within my heart, that there is no fear of God before his eyes." Cyberbullying is a wicked occupation. This is a most important fact. To harass and abuse innocent victims on-line is wickedness. These transgressors lack compassion. In their heart, they believe God is not watching. They hover behind their computers. They are confident that not a soul can see or catch them. Cyberbullying criminals have no fear of God or anyone else. Victims and everyone else, surely agree, that stalking others is wickedly hurtful.


Cyberbullying (Issues that Concern You)
Tamara Roleff

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

BULLYING, Is never right at any age. Prt.1

Hello everyone. It's been a while but I wanted to get some research done before going into this topic of Bullying. There is so much information we will have to split it into a couple of parts.

Let's start with defining BULLYING. Many groups and the CDC define bullying as:

• Attack or intimidation with the intention to cause fear, distress, or harm that is either physical (hitting, punching), verbal (name calling, teasing), or psychological/relational (rumors, social exclusion);
• A real or perceived imbalance of power between the bully and the victim; and
• Repeated attacks or intimidation between the same children over time. states there are three types of bullying:

Types of Bullying 

There are three types of bullying:
  • Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes:
    • Teasing
    • Name-calling
    • Inappropriate sexual comments
    • Taunting
    • Threatening to cause harm
  • Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes:
    • Leaving someone out on purpose
    • Telling other children not to be friends with someone
    • Spreading rumors about someone
    • Embarrassing someone in public
  • Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying includes:
    • Hitting/kicking/pinching
    • Spitting
    • Tripping/pushing
    • Taking or breaking someone’s things
    • Making mean or rude hand gestures

The CDC defines that there are different types of bullies as well as bystanders:

  • Aggressive= most common, hot tempered, belligerent, fearless and lacking in empathy for others
  • Passive Bullies=tend to be insecure, less popular than aggressive bully, low self esteem, few like able qualities and will not initiate bullying but will align with more aggressive bullies.
  • Victim Bullies= those who have been bullied themselves and feel the need to bully others who are weaker than themselves
The Social Culture cycle of Bullying begins with:

A person or persons intentionally using physical force to threaten or actually impose against another person that could result in likelihood of body harm, injury, psychological harm or deprivation can cause many issues to our society.

Youth violence and/or Bullying can have a long lasting impact on communities as a whole.
It increases health care cost, reduces employment productivity, decreases property values and disrupts social scale of society.
Bullying in its most common form is mostly found within our schools, communities and now even our work force. We will go into these subjects further as we go deeper into Bullying.

Although the word bully is not said in the bible, it is although widely discussed in many scriptures and discussed in many stories in the Bible. David and Goliath is a wonderful story and interpretation of this. Goliath being a giant Philistine warrior as the story states was prideful and boastful enticing one of the Israelites to come an battle him and telling them to send out a champion of their own to decide the outcome in single combat. He wanted to show  the Israelites the might of the Philistine. Many know the story that David volunteered and with a sling shot and five stones from a brook, killed and defeated Goliath. Thus the Philistine army fled.

I am not in any way saying we must pick up stones and start throwing them at out aggressors but as David he trusted in the Lord for wisdom and guidance. Sometimes the best thing to do and the wises is get help. Many men in the bible called out to the Lord for his help (David, Moses, Jonah, Samson,Saul, Abraham, Joshua, Jesus and much more). 

We have to remember some of these battles God gave instructions what they should do to win. Some battles the children of God needed just to trust in the Lord and the battle would be won without them even lifting a finger. 
Although it is difficult the situations we are facing and find it hard to trust because the situations seem bleak we must learn that God would never give us more than we can handle. We must trust in him and know he is God.

The word of God says:

Romans 12:19-20 ESV 

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Psalm 1:1-150:6 ESV

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; ...

Proverbs 6:16-19 ESV 

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers                                                                          

Matthew 5:43-48 ESV

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? ...

Leviticus 19:18 ESV 

You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord    

These are just a few of the scriptures, there are many more. I encourage you to get into your word and search out ALL these scriptures and meditate on God's word about this very important issue.

I want to end this part with one more thing:


CALL 911
Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Site exit disclaimeronline or at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Talk to your counselor, teacher, parents, principal, school superintendent, State Department of Education or U.S. Department of Justice


Ephesians 5:8-14 ESV 

For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. ..                                                                  


Monday, June 3, 2013

Verbal Abuse, how does it affect you.

Verbal abuse may be defined as:
*Angry outburst
* Put-Downs
*Attack on natural and specific ability of person
*Name Calling
*Brain washing
*Manipulation and Controlling

 Verbal abuse of any kind of language meant to demean or otherwise harm or control the victim. 

Verbal abuse is difficult to pre-determine because it does stem into so many other forms of abuse and/or assault. Verbal abuse can start very light at first and can escalate into something much worse. The behaviour of an abuser may be very subtle but verbal abuse is serious and a victim may be harshly affected. If they are children they will become very withdrawn and will have difficulty in trusting those around them as they grow older.There should never be a point in a person's life to put down or verbal attack to get your point across. 

The encyclopedia defines that Verbal abuse is:
Verbal abuse (also known as reviling) is described as a negative defining statement told to the person or about the person or by withholding any response thus defining the target as non-existent. If the abuser doesn't immediately apologize and retract the defining statement, the relationship may be a verbally abusive one.[1] A person of any gender, race, culture, sexual orientation, age, or size may experience verbal abuse. Typically, in couples or family relationships verbal abuse increases in intensity and frequency over time.[1] After exposure to verbal abuse, victims may fall into clinical depression and/or post-traumatic stress disorder. The person targeted by verbal abuse over time may succumb to any stress related illness. Verbal abuse creates emotional pain and mental anguish in its target.
Despite being the most common form of abuse, verbal abuse is generally not taken as seriously as other types, because there is no visible proof and the abuser may have a "perfect" persona around others. In reality, however, verbal abuse can be more detrimental to a person's health than physical abuse. If a person is verbally abused from childhood on, he or she may develop psychological disorders that plague them into and through adulthood.
Verbal abuse includes the following:[4]

It's sad to assume that many children, teens and even adults have to withstand verbal abuse often in their lives and for many years before acknowledging that there is or was a problem. Many have been verbally abused for so long that they no longer see it as abuse. They start to make excuses for their abuser thus not knowing or otherwise becoming numb to the mental affect it is having on their lives. They will defend the fact their abuser is constantly metaphorically verbally abusing them and see their act as not personal because they have become numb to the severe verbal abuse.

At times we must bring verbal abuse to someone's attention to begin healing and stop the process in it's tracks so it does not become more severe and get out of hand. 

Kerby Anderson the author of the article Verbal abuse states:
 "Almost everyone has heard of, or knows of, someone who has been verbally abused. Perhaps you are involved in a verbally abusive relationship. It is also possible that no one even knows your circumstances. Verbal abuse is a kind of battering which doesn't leave evidence comparable to the bruises of physical battering. You (or your friend) may be suffering in silence and isolation.

In this article, I want to tackle this very important issue in an effort to understand this phenomenon and provide answers. Like any area of human action, it begins in the mind and heart. Proverbs 23:7 says, "For as he thinks within himself, so he is." What a person thinks in his mind and heart will be reflected in his words and actions. Verbal abuse and physical abuse result from a world view that is clearly not biblical.

Verbal abuse is often more difficult to see since there are rarely any visible scars unless physical abuse has taken place. But it is often less visible simply because the abuse may always take place in private. The victim of verbal abuse lives in a gradually more confusing realm. In public, the victim is with one person. While in private, the abuser may become a completely different person.

Frequently, the perpetrator of verbal abuse is male and the victim is female, but not always. There are many examples of women who are quite verbally abusive. But for the sake of simplicity of pronouns in this program, I will identify the abuser as male and the victim as female.

A Biblical Perspective of Verbal Abuse

The Bible clearly warns us about the dangers of an angry man. Proverbs 22:24 says, "Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man." And Proverbs 29:22 says, "An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression."

It is not God's will for you (or your friend) to be in a verbally abusive relationship. Those angry and critical words will destroy your confidence and self-esteem. Being submissive in a marriage relationship (Ephesians 5:22) does not mean allowing yourself to be verbally beaten by your partner. 1 Peter 3:1 does teach that wives, by being submissive to their husbands, may win them to Christ by their behavior. But it does not teach that they must allow themselves to be verbally or physically abused.
Here are some key biblical principles. First, know that God loves you. The Bible teaches, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)
Second, deal with your feelings of guilt. You may be feeling that the problems in your marriage are your fault. "If only I would do better, he wouldn't be so angry with me." The Bible teaches in Psalm 51:6 that "Surely You desire truth in the inner parts; You teach me wisdom in the inmost place." Even though you may have feelings of guilt, you may not be the guilty party. I would recommend you read my article on the subject of false guilt.{5}
A related issue is shame. You may feel that something is wrong with you. You may feel that you are a bad person. Psalms 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Finally, you should realize that you can be free from being a victim and agree with God that you can be free. 2 Corinthians 3:17 says, "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."A key element in this area of verbal abuse will no doubt be confrontation of the abuser. It's important for you to realize that confrontation is a biblical principle. Jesus taught about this in Matthew 18:15-20. I would recommend that you seek help from a pastor or counselor. But I would also recommend that you gather godly men and women together who can lovingly confront the person who is verbally abusing you. Their goal should be to break through his denial and lovingly restore him with a spirit of gentleness (Galatians 6:1).
Verbal abuse is a difficult emotional problem, but there is hope if the abuser is willing to confront his sin and get help."